The Duct Tape Project
Survivor
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The Duct Tape Project
A project about sexual assault awareness. Duct Tape over the mouth symbolizes the silence around sexual assault.
The Duct Tape Project
Survivor
“5 years later and I’m still healing, but it has not won.”
The Duct Tape Project
“Survivor”
“In an abusive relationship from October 18, 2008 to January 27, 2011. I’ve been free for over two years now and it really does get better with time and with true friends.”
The Duct Tape Project
“Best Friend of a Survivor”
Q
It was my uncle. I don't blame myself at all, but I still have to see him and I feel very worried and powerless around him.
Anonymous
A
I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m proud that you realize that you are not to blame. It’s perfectly normal to feel that way around someone that has betrayed your trust like that.
I hope that you have or can make plans to help you feel safer when you have to see him. These can be checking in with or staying close to someone that you trust that is at a gathering he’s at, keeping your distance, establishing that you are not interested in certain interactions with him or none at all, knowing where the door is, pretending to use the bathroom when you need to get away to get some air, etc. Or perhaps you would feel more powerful by interacting with him and doing so in a curt manner, or maybe glaring at and staring him down across the room. Maybe your power can be found in not even giving him the time of day to look at or speak to. Or perhaps your power can be in continuing on as usual in a gathering while avoiding him as if he doesn’t matter…which he doesn’t.
It can quell some anxiety to just have a few “tricks” up your sleeve when you feel that you need them. That way, you’re not frozen and scrambling for how to react or what to do. You’re not alone <3
Q
I was repeatedly sexually assaulted when I was 15 by my boyfriend. Several years later, I'm finally trying to heal by sharing my story and offering support to anyone who needs it. If you could help me out by spreading awareness of my blog, I would be really really grateful! Thank you for all of the work that you do<3
A
Sorry to hear that. I’m glad that you are finding ways to help yourself and others.
People should check out your page if they need someone to relate to. Keep up the good work!
Trigger Warning
Dear Anonymous
To the anonymous that sent a message having been assaulted by a friend that believes that they put themselves into the position to be assaulted: I answered your ask, but tumblr had an error and deleted it.
“My best friend of five years raped me in the spring semester. I put myself in that position but said no to certain things. But he did them anyway. Investigation was dropped due to lack of sufficient evidence. He keeps his job, his life, and his girlfriend, who knows and hates me, and I’m left with depression and the guilt that even though he did what he did, I put myself there and was too scared to say anything, much less no.”
I’m sorry this happened. No matter what the scenario is, no means no. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing or who believes you. No one has the right to take advantage of you.
You can’t set yourself up to be assaulted. The perpetrator has no right to do anything that you don’t want to do.
It was definitely not your fault. It never is. I hope that you will come to see that someday <3
Q
My moms boyfriend sexually abused me for 3 years. Told my mom and she thought it was a lie. They had a kid. I told my older sister about what about it,went to court&he didn't go to jail. My mom stayed with him until yrs later touched my older sister and then he is now in jail.
Anonymous
A
So sorry to hear that. That is so tragic that that she didn’t believe you, and that it had to happen to someone else in order for something to be done. It’s very brave of you to speak up like you did. That’s not an easy thing to do. Now everyone knows the truth, and the monster is in jail. You’re a survivor <3
Q
I am a survivor. My uncle molested me and my cousin who is a year older harassed me endlessly and assaulted me multiple times. I still think it's my fault
Anonymous
A
I’m so sorry that this happened to you.
I know it’s a difficult concept to grasp, but it is never the survivor’s fault. Just by associating yourself as a survivor and saying that you were assaulted means that you must, somewhere deep down, know that it couldn’t be your fault. By definition, that is impossible. An assault is a perpetrated event, not one that is asked for. If it was, it wouldn’t be assault.
This is one of the hardest feelings for survivors to deal with, if not THE hardest.
I think it really says something that almost all survivors feel that way. Would you blame someone else in the same situation that you were in? Probably not. We tend to blame ourselves, but have compassion for others. An important thing to learn is to have compassion for ourselves, and realize that someone chose to hurt you. You did not decide that.
Your uncle was the authority figure. It was completley his fault. He chose to use his position, strength, age, or whatever he may have used, against you and your cousin.
I have a similar story. I do not blame myself, and I do not blame you. YOU were the victim, and now, you are the survivor. You’re very strong to submit a message like this. I’m proud of you <3
