Q
This is personal but I need advice and don't wanna feel like this. I am so confused I feel like it was all my fault. I wish I could go back and be a strong enough person to stand up for myself and not of let it happen. Even when I said no I was still asked a million times like no wasn't an option and I was nervous and nervous-laughing andsweating and he showed that he did nothing wrong.
Anonymous
A

No matter what, being assaulted is never your fault. It goes against the very definition of it. You didn’t “let” it happen. Your perpetrator knew exactly what he was doing, and knew what you said. No WASN’T an option because he was set on assaulting you. That is what is wrong. He didn’t care about your feelings or respect you. That is a fault of his, and not yours. Confusion is completely normal, but you’re never to blame, and you’re not alone. 


The Duct Tape Project"Friend of Survivor"

The Duct Tape Project
"Friend of Survivor"


The Duct Tape Project"Friend of Survivor"

The Duct Tape Project
"Friend of Survivor"


The Duct Tape ProjectSurvivor"It doesn’t matter who you told, who it was, what you did, or when it happened: If you identify yourself as a survivor, you are a survivor."

The Duct Tape Project
Survivor
"It doesn’t matter who you told, who it was, what you did, or when it happened: If you identify yourself as a survivor, you are a survivor."


The Duct Tape Project"Friend of Survivors"

The Duct Tape Project
"Friend of Survivors"


Q
To that other anon: technically that was rape. You said his fingers were inside you, and that's penetration.
Anonymous
A

Q
I was out walking one night and a guy grabbed me from behind, swung me around and put his fingers in me. I punched him and ran. I didn't even move for like 10 seconds. I keep having flashbacks where its like I can feel him on me again and I'm like terrified of the dark. Is this sexual assault? Am I just overreacting by being freaked out?
Anonymous
A

Trigger Warning: sexual assault

I put that trigger there because this IS sexual assault. You are certainly not overreacting. Someone touched you without your consent. Even the fact that you’re having flashbacks and aversions because of it is a key clue to the fact that you were assaulted. I hope you are able to reach out for support to friends, family, or a counselor. You didn’t deserve to have this happen to you.


I’ve lost count on how many guys have assaulted me.  I can’t remember all of the times anymore or all of the guys.


Q
Uh, sorry, I was the last asker, the one with the co-worker, if that's too violent I wouldn't want you to bother posting it. It just kills me every day I see this man and I can't find another job because the economy is horrible.
Anonymous
A

No, it wasn’t too violent. Like I said, revenge fantasies are normal. I do hope that one of you is able to move to a different job soon. Again, please stay safe, not just physically, but emotionally as well.


Q
this breaks my heart but thank you for what you are doing. I wanted, not to kill my rapist, but to cut his tongue out for the silence I was forced into. If people say we aren't allowed revenge fantasies, fuck them. I never went to the police, he works at my place of work now. It's very difficult.
Anonymous
A

Fantasizing about revenge is a completely normal reaction. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’m sorry that you have to see him all the time. I hope that you are able to reach out for support at your work place to at least have one person that knows and can help you, even if it’s just to vent. Please stay safe. I hope that you are able to be in an environment soon where you don’t have to see or interact with him.